Damn Colties

Someone had to say it, and Joe Queenan says it best: Today's Super Bowl offers fans a chance to root for absolute good over unadulterated evil.

You have the Bears. The descendants of George Halas. Working class. Have stayed with the same stadium since 1971, continuing to love it as it aged and sagged and had a facelift. Play in the rain and snow, like real football players. NFC.

You have the Colts. Owned by the satanic Irsays. White collar. Skedaddled out of Baltimore at night like little 'fraidy cats, then lacked the class to adopt another name and logo. Play indoors, like little girls in the play area at a mall. AFC (derisive snort).

Marvin Harrison might be the greatest wide receiver ever, even better than Jerry Rice. Did you see the catch he made on the 2-point conversion in the AFC title game? But tell me: Who would you rather have a beer with -- Harrison or Muhsin Muhammad? (If you say, "Muhsin who?," that's your loss.)

A lot of people root for Peyton to win a Super Bowl. The last time I felt that way was when I was rooting, inexplicably, for John Elway of the damned AFC's Broncos. Later, I wondered, "Why care about Elway? There were about 106 guys on the combined rosters."

This game isn't about Manning. It's about what Queenan calls "the serious moral issues underlying the set-to."

Go Bears!

Update: Lance Mannion, who is rooting for the Colts, makes the case against rooting for a team solely because of the athletes' political beliefs.